Surviving the Metamorphosis

Allow me to re-introduce myself, my name is Breezy: a strong, smart, funny, FINE, creative, and compassionate young lady. Now that we’re acquainted, I want to talk to you about how I became the woman I am today.

I should probably start by saying I am not as cocky as that intro may lead you to believe, LOL. In fact, most of my life I’ve struggled with my confidence. For as long as I could remember I questioned my strength, because I was always told I was too sensitive, and my beauty, brains and God given talents because I was always too busy comparing myself to others. I would dread icebreakers in school that required us to tell everyone something interesting about ourselves because I honestly did not believe there was anything interesting about me. I felt unimportant, undesired, and unloved despite having friends and loved ones who felt otherwise. But that’s the thing about suffering from mental health issues; your brain prefers irrational thinking over rational. I struggled with this ridiculous way of viewing myself for 15+ years but recently decided that this was a way of thinking that was no longer an option. I made the conscious effort to change the way I see myself and in doing so began to see my life changing for the better.

A metamorphosis is defined as a change of the form or nature of a person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means. When I think of a metamorphosis, the transformation of a caterpillar to a butterfly immediately comes to mind. The idea that something that was once so overlooked, so low, so lethargic, can morph into something so bold and vibrant, something that demands your attention…it’s a beautiful thing. When I sat down to write this entry, I spent a few moments reflecting on my growth in the last 6 months and all that went into my metamorphosis. In doing so, I came up with 4 different “musts” for transforming into the beautiful butterfly we’re  all destined to be.

Since the caterpillar to butterfly transformation is the best metaphor I can think of I’ll continue using this to illustrate the four musts of a metamorphosis. The first: SEPERATION. Caterpillars do not begin their transformation as a unit, it is an individual goal which requires space and time solely dedicated to one’s self. Transforming sometimes means separating yourself from certain habits and certain people that may be stunting your growth. The second: MOTIVATION. Motivation is important because you must want this change for yourself, no one can want it for you.  You must be willing to put in the work necessary to see any real change. The third: ISOLATION. Caterpillars must create an environment, i.e. a cocoon, that will foster their growth. While having others a long for the ride is great for accountability reasons, the journey to a better you starts and ends with YOU. Taking time to build on your own is always a good thing. Toward the end of March I decided to change my eating habits and commit to a workout routine for me and only me. I didn’t wait on anyone else to do it for or with me. I also made the decision to take a social media break for about 3 weeks in May for my mental health. Social media is a big distraction and can sometimes have a negative impact on the way we view ourselves because we’re so busy comparing our real life problems to the best parts of other people’s life (because we all know most of us only post the good on social media).

The last must and the most important is EVALUATION. After separating yourself from things and people that don’t benefit your growth, motivating yourself to make meaningful changes and isolating yourself in order to implement these changes and form healthier habits, you must take a look back on the journey and assess where you are. Now this may be a step that butterflies do not follow but humans are ever-evolving so it’s important to do temperature checks every now and then. While I am very proud of the person I am today I know that there is so much more room for growth and change. I also know that there is room to backslide which is why evaluating where you are, where you’ve been, and where you are looking to go is so important. We are all beautiful beings and all we need to level up is right inside of us. We just have to be purposeful about bringing that beauty to the surface.