Surviving Grief
On Sunday January 26th I sat at the kitchen table with my Aunt and we talked about life. Over Cheerios and coffee we discussed my blog and the plans I have for the future. I had been recovering from a pretty bad Lupus flare so she asked me how I was coping. I told her I was proud of myself because the last time I had a flare this bad I did not handle it well. I had allowed myself to fall into a deep depression making my symptoms worse but this time around was different. She told me she was proud of me too because she knows how difficult the last year or so has been for me but she sees the progress I’ve been making. As the conversation went on and we reflected on various hardships we both faced in the last year a friend I lost in April of last year came up. This friend had been battling kidney cancer for just a few months leaving me no real time to comprehend the severity of her condition. She asked me if I grieved her loss and while my brain was still trying to decide if this was a conversation I was ready to have, my mouth was already saying “No.”
Before I could begin to unpack feelings that laid dormant inside of me for over 9 months, I received a text informing me of Kobe Bryant’s tragic and untimely death. I thought to myself “this can’t be true” but not even seconds later my father walked in the door spouting the very same information. Still in disbelief, we turned on the TV and there it was; confirmation that Kobe Bryant was no longer with us. As more details came out we learned that not only was his life taken but the lives of 8 others, including one of his precious girls, were lost as well. Slowly yet all at once the reality set in that multiple children were left without a parent and/or siblings, spouses were left without their significant others, parents lost children and the whole world mourned.
For the last few days I’ve been praying for supernatural healing and peace for those impacted by this tragedy. Praying for God to send His angels to sustain and cover them through their mourning. Praying they seek and find whatever help they need to properly grieve In the months to come and in doing so, I could not help but think about the question my aunt asked me the other day: have I grieved my friend? The answer still remains no as I know it does for a lot of people who love her. As I know it does for countless friends and family members who have experienced loss. Whether it be sudden or something you see coming, whether it was a month ago or a decade ago, the loss of someone you care about causes pain that won’t go away easily. No matter how hard you try to avoid it or self medicate with drugs or alcohol if not properly dealt with the pain will never get better. While the void created by loss can never truly be filled it is important for us all to find healthy ways to heal.
On the “Surviving Mental Health” page of the site you will find a link to an article from BetterHelp.com regarding grief. I encourage you to take a look and/or pass it along to someone you feel needs it.